Gumby, you're killin' me here!
I think my husband belongs to the same cult...
Sara Annie
JoinedPosts by Sara Annie
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Apart form the JW's, has any other cult ever tried to recruit you?
by In_between_days inwhat are your experiences in being a target for fresh meat in a cult?
have any other cult members besides dubs ever tried to recruit you?
i was sucked in once, while i was working at my store that i managed years ago a middle aged man in a suit bought an outfit from me.
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MOBILE SEX MESSAGES .
by nightwarrior inyes thats right.. my wife was throwing out some old magazines.
then i picked one of them up and opened an article all about ( mobile telephones ) but thia time i looked at the article criticaly, i read the article from a distance ,checked the sub headings relating to the subject.. the articale related to a mobile telephone.
( do i need a mobile phone ).
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Sara Annie
Ok, I'm going to come out and admit it: I send my husband sexy messages through the text-message function on our mobile phones several times a week. He loves them, and I like imagining his cheeks flushing when he reads them on job sites...
The one problem is that, occasionally, there is some sort of snafu on the part of the cell-phone provider, and a message will sometimes end up sent to a total stranger... I've gotten perplexed (and maybe a little hot and bothered) responses from numbers in totally different area codes than the number I was sending the message to.
So I guess they're right. Cell phones really are a tool of the Devil.
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Dub Fads
by In_between_days inwhen you were a jw, did you witness a rather large enthusiasm from your congregation for passing fads?
what i mean is, one dub would start something and everyone would join in?
this was especially prevelant with the women of the congregations.. for instance, for a while every female dub was undertaking this strange diet where they basically drink this really odd and particularly disturbing looking mushroom that they kept in their fridge.
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Sara Annie
Witnesses are by definition gullible people so there fads are likewise.
Amen to that. My JW relatives were always into something new--amway, the healing power of magnets, herbal remedies, holistic scalp readings, weird diet fads, you name it. I'd need three hands to count how many JW's I knew of who quit decent jobs to enter into ridiculously transparent pyramid schemes and would be shocked when they didn't make the millions the videotape/commerical/close-personal-friend said they would. I know of one man who sent his family of 5 into financial ruin when he dove headfirst into selling water filters door to door, and another who went out to try and sell educational text-books.
I always assumed that the tendency to be sucked into such schemes/practices came from the "theocratic" programming all JWs receive that enables them believe anything they hear. If brother so-and-so says it's good, it must be! It's like they have their natural human bullshit-meter totally disabled.
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What parents need to know...
by SheilaM intoday on montel he is discussing a subject i just did a speech on yesterday.
it's about the medication of children for adhd.
1. that ritalin is a class ii drug and is on the same as cocaine.
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Sara Annie
Sixofnine--
It's very hard for some minds to focus on the mundane, the banal. Since too many people live totally focused on the mundane and banal, I'm all for letting those who don't run wild with their thought processes.
I don't say this to reverse my position on ritalin or other drugs. And I won't claim to be in a position to know if your son needs or doesn't need a drug to function at his best level, it seems to work for your family. I am however, very sympathetic to any kid who is trapped in a seat for 6 hours a day and honestly can't see the point of being there. After all, how does a kid understand that "this is just the way it's gonna be, cuz tradition says so"? He'd no doubt always heard that school was for learning.
I totally agree with you on this point. He was bored with the material, and we have worked very hard at altering his curriculum to an appropriate intellectual level, and tailoring what he's learning to his abilities. Luckily we have had great support from his teachers and the school district, and he is presented challenging material that is interesting to him. He does independent study several times a week with the GT coordinator and has had a blast doing so-he has produced such amazing projects and loves it. He's been given a great deal of flexibility to pursue his interests and thrives.
What can't be overlooked, however, is that part of the purpose of school is to learn how to learn, and to function as a productive member of society. It's about starting and finishing tasks in a specific period of time, whatever the subject matter. It's about building interpersonal and group communication skills. It's about learning to listen to information, and how to put it to use practically. It's about learning that sometimes you need to sit down and keep quiet and pay attention. It's about learning that if you don't put your best effort forward, you will be evaluated accordingly. These skills are a huge part of what is 'learned' in grammar school, and even the smartest kids need to practice them in the schoolroom environment. The problem with our little booger is that while the subject matter was easy, he couldn't focus on the more rudimentary tasks at hand even though they were simple for him. The combination of positive reinforcement techniques and the medication have enabled him to "keep a tight hold on the leash" when he needs to, but not inhibit his creative spirit. He can pursue very interesting, challenging school work, and still keep focused on specific tasks that help him build up basic skills. His ability to perform basic schoolwork tasks successfully has made him so happy. He brings home his "great day" reports with a 100 watt smile, and is as proud of himself as we are of him. There are challenges ahead, to be sure, but for us, for our child, this is the right answer, for now.
The hardest part of having such a smart cookie around is that we have to balance his intellectual capabilities with the fact that he's a seven year old boy. Yes, he is working on high level math skills, but he still believes everything he hears in TV commericals. He can read novels that the average person reads in high school, but still loves to listen to his teacher read aloud children's books in class. Just because he CAN read something, doesn't mean it's appropriate to. We found that out the hard way when, at six, he borrowed Old Yeller from the library to read during quiet time and came home sobbing the afternoon (and afterward, nightly) after he finished it. We also had a heck of a time with him after he picked up and read through a book about the holocaust from the 6th grade history display during library time. He likes to throw rocks into the pond, thinks that grasshoppers are "cute" (Yikes!), pretends he's a monkey, and quotes SpongeBob Squarepants. He can do long division in his head, but still has to ask why some jokes are funny. He has read all seven books in the Chronicles of Narnia twice and can talk your ear off about them, but has to be reminded to use soap in the tub. In short, he's a kid. We're trying to let him be a kid, and at the same time foster his abilities. It certainly makes life interesting! Sort of makes you wish they came with instruction manuals...
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When is the Memorial this year???
by WingCommander init's been a while since i posted anything.
i was just wondering when the memorial was this year?
since i don't get watchtower mags anymore, i haven't a clue.
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Sara Annie
Today.
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What parents need to know...
by SheilaM intoday on montel he is discussing a subject i just did a speech on yesterday.
it's about the medication of children for adhd.
1. that ritalin is a class ii drug and is on the same as cocaine.
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Sara Annie
It amazes me that someone can jump to conclusions on someone's education and personal experience and be so damned self-righteous
I'm sorry, Sheila, I wasn't actually referring to you--but I didn't make that clear. I was referring to a few of the other posts that unilaterally declared positions on ADHD medication as bad (with only secondary experience), and that legitimate behavioral issues were due to parental and teacher laziness. That really got under my skin, and I lashed out. Please accept my apology.
Since we're telling our stories, let me share mine:
My seven year old son is quite a young man. He began to read shortly before his fourth birthday. He just picked up a book at the Library, said to my husband: "Daddy, I can read this to you" and proceeded to do so. We were flabbergasted. We had always read to him, since his birth, but hadn't 'taught' him to read. At four he was reading at a third grade level, his math skills were astonishing--he could perform simple algebraic operations with seemingly no effort (no x's and y's mind you, just everyday applications: We have 10 apples, Daddy has 2, you have 3, how many does Mom have?, etc.), and had such a grasp of computer functions that more than once he downloaded wallpaper and screensavers from his favorite kid-friendly internet sites and installed them--much the chagrin of his father! We were encouraged to start him in school before his fifth birthday, but after much consideration we declined. Yes, he was very smart, yes his reading comprehension levels were well above his age group, but at the same time, he still thought that if he put a pillowcase over his head that we couldn't see him. :) We waited a year, and by that time our kindergartener was reading and comprehending at a sixth grade level. His math skills were solidly 4th grade, and it seemed that he was destined for academic success.
Kindergarten was no problem. He was a little flighty, but aren't they all? With the switch to a more structured environment in first grade, we found that the same child who was so intelligent was having a great deal of trouble accomplishing tasks in class. He wasn't a distraction in class, he simply couldn't start and complete most of the very simple tasks that the other children had no trouble with. At first we chocked it up to the fact that he was simply bored with the work at hand. Why would my 6 year old who had read all of the Harry Potter books be interested in "See Jane Run"? We would reason that it wasn't important to finish coloring a picture of a rabbit as it was to read all about rabbits, what they ate, where they lived, and how they interacted with each other. We altered the content of his studies, and while he absorbed the information, he still didn't finish papers, projects or writing assignments. When one of his teachers suggested we might want to read up on ADHD, I was dismissive, even offended. My child wasn't hyper. He was not a distraction to anyone else in class, he wasn't incapable of high-level work. He could concentrate for hours on things he enjoyed, so he certainly wasn't incapable of concentration. He was simply stubborn, we thought, and we'd take care of that problem.
We changed strategies, using negative reinforcement as a tool. If his work wasn't finished in class, he worked on it when the other children went out to recess. If he still didn't finish it, he brought it home and he spent his evening, the whole evening if necessary, completing the work. It was very frustrating. He knew the answer to every question, had no trouble with the work itself, but I would watch him drop his pencil 12 times on purpose, take 5 minutes to write a simple sentence, and sometimes just sit and stare off into space. We couldn't understand what the problem was. When a privilige would be taken away, we could see how much it bothered our son. He knew of the consequences, was very upset by them, but still couldn't seem to get his work done. It was clear that this strategy wasn't working, and in the process we watched our happy, smart, charming little boy become more and more withdrawn and upset with himself.
One night after my husband and I had met with his teacher to go over his progress, we began to tell our son over dinner that his teacher had reported that he was still not improving, that his work was far below his abilities, and that she had discussed some more ideas to get him to perform better with us. I remember him, eyes downcast, looking up at us and asking in the tiniest voice "Did she say anything good about me?". I will never forget that moment. It was in that second that I realized that my assertion that my little boy was simply stubborn was absolutely incorrect. I went out on the internet and researched ADHD, it's various manifestations and symptoms, read everything I could find. The next day, I made an appointment with a behavioral psychologist with the local children's hospital. In our first meeting, the Dr. asked him what it was like for him in school when he was trying to do his work. He thought about it for a moment, and then said "It's like my brain is a big dog on a leash and I have to hold the chain really tight because mostly he just wants to run around and chase cats and bark at cars, and most of the time I just can't hold on tight enough." I thought that was a pretty great way to describe what was going on in his head.
After extensive testing, requiring the coordination of clinicial, school setting and home setting observation, he was eventually diagnosed as ADHD-Inattentive. We explored all avenues of possible treatment. When we began to discuss medication, I had some issues. I had done extensive reading about the different medications available, and wanted to be sure that we weren't simply medicating to take the "easy" way out. We opted for a time-released 24 hour medicine that was non-cumulative in nature (went in and out of the body quickly) and taken only once a day, combined with extensive positive reinforcement and directed behavior techniques. Still, I was apprehensive about the drug therapy. I cannot even convey to you what an immediate difference the medicine made in his life. The very first day, he came home all smiles, thrilled because he didn't have ONE incomplete assignment to bring home that night. We were so proud of him, and even more importantly, he was proud of himself. Combined with positive reinforcement, he has had remarkable results with the medication. He has been able to work to his potential, has become actively involved in our school district's excellent gifted program, and is a happy, healthy 7 year old. We are hopeful that the medicine, combined with behavioral strategies, will continue to be sucessful, and that in the next few years we can work toward weaning off of the drug therapy when appropriate.
It was, and continues to be, a very challenging journey. I am so thankful that the resources to help our son on his road to success were available, and that we didn't close ourselves off to them for some misguided notion that all of his behavior was just a product of laziness or a stubborn nature, or our lack of parental involvement or skill. Had we closed ourselves off to the options available, we might have wasted years in a pointless, frustrating struggle.
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Insurance In Network/Out of Network Scam
by Francois ini was just reading princess' sam goody story and since i'm going through something similiar that might affect some of you as well, i thought to throw in my usual two cents worth.. i recently had a sleep study.
yep.
sleep apnea.
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Sara Annie
Francois-
Sara, I hope your husband can get a CPAP. Without one chances are increased for stroke, heart attack, and all sorts of other bad things.
We actually just discussed his doing another sleep study to see if the CPAP was appropriate for him. He turned 40 this past year, and I'm concerned about all of the conditions you listed. He's finally forgotten the annoyance from the last time enough to think about trying it again. And the machine he'd be using would be much less bulky that the previous alternative. I'm going to have another go at him about exploring the possiblity again, on your recommendation.
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What parents need to know...
by SheilaM intoday on montel he is discussing a subject i just did a speech on yesterday.
it's about the medication of children for adhd.
1. that ritalin is a class ii drug and is on the same as cocaine.
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Sara Annie
Dottie:
I apologize, I didn't see your second post. I was too busy typing away!
As to the subject of "opinions", I totally agree that people have the right to their opinion. Absolutely. That does not, however, mean that everyone's opinion is automatically entitled to respect. If someone forms an opinion based on skewed or unreliable facts, that does not lend any credibility to position they've taken. In this specific case, to unilaterally declare that medication is never (or is always) the answer is just plain silly. In a forum such as this you are entitled to your own opinion, to be sure, but you also should be able to defend it logically. That's all I'm saying.
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What parents need to know...
by SheilaM intoday on montel he is discussing a subject i just did a speech on yesterday.
it's about the medication of children for adhd.
1. that ritalin is a class ii drug and is on the same as cocaine.
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Sara Annie
It never ceases to amaze me how people with absolutely no education or personal experience on any given subject can unilaterally declare their tiny knowledge base on the subject as fact. Although I can see how tempting it might be to take a listing of 'facts' asserted on The Montel Williams Show-beacon of journalistic integrity that it is-and use them to reach a strongly stated opinion on the subject.
First things first. ADD/ADHD, though commonly separated, are actually both categorized in the disorder Attention Deficit Hyperactivty Disorder, (or ADHD). A person diagnosed with ADHD can either exhibit "inattentive" tendences (referred to as ADD) OR "hyperactive" tendencies, or both. Whatever the case, ADHD is the main diagnosis, and the specific manifestation is secondary.
ADHD and the corresponding treatments have received a great deal of attention in the last 20 years. I will concede up front that the sheer number of children (and adults for that matter) diagnosed with the disorder is somewhat alarming. It is likely that there have been misdiagnoses, inappropriate prescribed drug regimen usage, and I will even go so far as to say that there may be a percentage of children currently diagnosed as ADHD who are being treated for a condition that is nothing more than childish exhuberance. The existence of such situations does NOT, however, negate the existence of the disorder. In the same vein, it does not mean that drug therapies for treating individuals with ADHD are not legitimately prescribed and helpful to those that use them.
Why is it that now...in this day and age there are so many children with "ADHD" or "ADD"?? When I was say 7 (20 yrs ago) no one even had heard of ADD or ADHD. If there was a hyper kid...he was just a hyper kid. No meds, no fancy diet, no fancy diagnosis, maybe he would have a special ed. class...but that is about it.
Yes, children who were hyper were "just hyper". And they continued to be a big distraction and disruption to other students, their grades were not as good, and their behavior that couldn't be curbed with modification (if it was even attempted) was left to continue creating a problem their entire lives. Many of these "just hyper" kids became adults with the same kinds of disruptive problems in their marriages, jobs, and then in their own parenting skills. If a diagnosis of ADHD and appropriate drug/behavioral therapies had been available, they might have had an easier, more productive educational experience and adult personal life.
IMHO, these so-called childhood disorders are an excuse for people not properly disciplining their children.
To say that poor parenting is the cause of the majority of attention deficit and hyperactivity problems is damn close to saying telling parents of a schizophrenic child that their child wouldn't hear voices if they'd just up the discipline. Please. I find that people who make such judgements about other people's parental skills and their children's behavior are often the most guilty of the very things they profess to be so awful. By the same token, I do believe that if you have a child that has been diagnosed with ADHD, you take on a great responsiblity to engage in behavioral modification techniques in conjunction with any medicine that may be used.
Teachers have 22 plus students in the average classroom today. They cannot spend their entire day disciplining the one or two disruptive children to the detriment of the other students. Today's teachers have learned many strategies to deal with kids who are constant poor-performers and/or behaviorally disruptive, but they are better able to do their job when children with legitimate problems receive the support and treatment they need from involved parents, physicians, and other education professionals.
I absolutely agree with this. I know of 3 people who were ADD and ADHD as children and put on drugs, they grew up to be drug addicted and 2 of the 3 are currently in prison serving 5-10 years each for violent crimes.
Oh please. I know of three people who have used different medications to control their ADHD and have grown up to be productive members of society who have lovely familes and great careers. I also know of a few people who were not treated for any kind of mental disorder who have cheated on their wives repeatedly, stabbed someone after a football game, and killed two people while driving drunk. Can I now say that my "research" indicates that NOT taking ADHD treatment medication leads you down the path of ruin? It's ridiculous to say that "drugs are NEVER the answer".
As with any medical diagnosis, the key to dealing with it is education. Read the research on all sides of the issue, speak with medical and educational professionals, and make the appropriate decisions for your child based on that information.
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Insurance In Network/Out of Network Scam
by Francois ini was just reading princess' sam goody story and since i'm going through something similiar that might affect some of you as well, i thought to throw in my usual two cents worth.. i recently had a sleep study.
yep.
sleep apnea.
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Sara Annie
Francois-
Your story reminded me of the time my husband did an overnight sleep study so that his physician could get an accurate read of how his snoring affecting his sleep patterns, and possibly diagnose him with sleep apnea.
My husband was so uncomfortable the entire night that he barely slept at all, he got up three times to use the bathroom and needed to be unhooked from all of the sensors, and came home so surly about the entire experience that he was swearing that the snoring and poor nights of sleep were preferable to going through the hell of another sleep study. When his Dr. received the diagnosis, we all had a good laugh: Insomnia. Now, everytime I tell my husband he's snoring, he retorts with a sarcastic "I'm sorry, honey. It's my insomnia..."
Good for you for fighting the charge. I don't put up with crap from anyone when the charge isn't warranted, no matter what the situation. Eventually, if you keep requesting one level higher in the decision making process, you get exactly what you want. Squeaky wheel and all...